I find my self in a dept to the world
I have taken and never given back
I owe so much more then i can repay
And in fear i feel i will never reach the peace i want
I except and move on a child of dark desires
A child of hate, fear, and injustice
What must i do in return for peace of mind
Kill,free,hunt the injustice that i am
What is it i must do to right the wrongs i have made
And transegress my fears
Or must i simpely die to the world and every one
Not in fear of lose but instead to protect them
What is it God that i must do

To day was strange. I elt alone and empty. I would look to see what was happening around me only to see the blur of people. I could work but my mind would always drifting elsewere. All i see are dark vessels of evil and indiscretion. And most of all i felt as though i was loseing myself. I feel lost in a never ending vorex leading to the abyss. Darkness has concumed what ever it had not before. I felt anger and my own loss of insanty. I felt comeplety out of control. It was as if i could see, but not act.

Guys i was watching the movie Johnny Cash and it spoke to me. What spoke to me even more was his music video Hurt. It mad me think. What the hell am i doing thats so damn great. Not to mention i always hurt the ones i care for most. I try to walk a thin black line and never make it to the end. I always seem to fall. Ether in the middle or right when i think i've made it. Life tends to kick you when your down and then laugh. Its hell. I fell alon lost an as cold hearted as ever. And damn it i'm tired of feeing this way. No matter how much kindness is given to me. No matter how many people love me i still feel completely alone. I could be at a family reunion and feel alone. All i want to do is walk out and be forgotten for ever. As people forget as the passing of time wears at there minds. What is wrong with me. Why do i have to savagely beat at myself to feel anything. Love is a forin feeling i fear i will never know and anger is my best friend. It is a tide that i never seem to escape.

I saw your face in the morning sun
Oh, I thought you were there
I heard your voice as the wind passed me by
Silently, whispering my name
So many things that I wanted to say
Forever left untold
I still remember the tears that you shed
Over someone else
Our love could never die
All I can do is cry
Save A little prayer for the Fallen One
There is a light at memory lane
Slowly fading away
Still holding on the dreams torn apart
I will follow my heart
Our love could never die
All I can do is cry
Save A little prayer for the Fallen One
Still on my own, chasing the sun
Of a time long ago
The shade in my heart, tearing apart
Everything that I long for
I saw your face in the morning sun
Oh, I thought you were there
I heard your voice as the wind passed me by
Silently, whispering my name
Our love could never die
All I can do is cry
Save a little prayer for the Fallen One

Well truthfully i don't like slipknot but they have a song that can tell you all how i feel better then i could tell.

Push my fingers into my eyes...
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache...
But it's made of all the things I am today...
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside...
If the pain goes on...
Aaaaaaaah!

I have screamed until my veins collapsed
I've waited last, my time's elapsed
Now, All I do is live with so much fate
I've wished for this, I've bitched at that
I've left behind this little fact:
You cannot kill what you did not create
I've gotta say what I've gotta say
And then I swear I'll go away
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the words
I guess I'll save the best for last
My future seems like on big past
You'll live with me 'cause you left me no choice

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!

Pull me back together
Our seperate the skin from the bone
Leave me all the Pieces, and then you can leave me
alone
Tell me the reality is better than dream
But I found out the hard way,
Nothing is what it seems!

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the thing I am today
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!

All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane!
All I've got...all I've got is insane!

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the thing I am today
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!