I find my self in a dept to the world
I have taken and never given back
I owe so much more then i can repay
And in fear i feel i will never reach the peace i want
I except and move on a child of dark desires
A child of hate, fear, and injustice
What must i do in return for peace of mind
Kill,free,hunt the injustice that i am
What is it i must do to right the wrongs i have made
And transegress my fears
Or must i simpely die to the world and every one
Not in fear of lose but instead to protect them
What is it God that i must do
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You have a mixed blessing. As one so young yet so aware and intelligent you see more than your peers. Yet you have not developed a lot of coping skills, a lot of life experience to understand it all. Granted you are a very mature, most mature, young man but still...it takes time.
Most young people your age are not asking such deep questions. At this time in your life there is so much new information about the WORLD (the different types of personality types, etc) and about YOURSELF (how you deal with and process emotions, new situations, etc) that you will learn EACH AND EVERY DAY...and it will be like that for awhile. That's the nature of young humans.
If you can learn right now to not be so hard on yourself you'll be fine. Take a deep breath and keep writing. Pay attention to the emotions but don't let them rule you. Practice the virtues of detachment, patience, and self-control. Do an internet search on virtures...I know that you'll find a wealth of information on the topic. The thoughts will eventually unravel and you will find peace.
Finally, we all do wrong...I don't know what you have done but I urge you to search your better side, the side that knows what is right and come up with a solution to make amends to anyone you hurt.
You are a talented and thoughtful young man...no need to disapear to protect the world, just change if it is that bad. From what I've seen of you here in the stream I sense that you have the ability to do so. It may sound corny but lean towards the light as you look for a solution, not the dark. Anything I can do let me know.
Your friend, ME